Poor giant-sized Lego Mario. Since last May, he’s been sitting in his giant-sized Lego kart, glumly wondering what the point is of his existence, given that he has no one to race. Until now, that is.

Nintendo has worked tirelessly over the past 30 years to fend off the grimy funk of the first Super Mario Bros. movie. Though that dark and drastic take on the material has its defenders (I like it), ...